Well, i've been on hiatus for couple month but here i am now. My schedule has been packed up these few months. There are times when i think to stop writing on this blog..but i guess i just can stop it, this is where i can put my thoughts without anyone judging. Its already end of December now, time flies like so fast. I guess on new year people tend to make a new year resolutions. Usually i don't really stick to having a 'new year resolution' but i think planning some things tho. These are some resolutions i've made:
1. Loving myself more
Yes. This is like a thing that's easy to say but in real life its just hard for me. It's just i can't help but compare myself to others people, and get this self-hatred feeling. I'm still trying to fix this thing. i often get really depressed about my physical appearance and thats just no good. Rather than focusing on things i'm lacking, i'm going to focus more on things i love, things i do well. Rather than being sad and complaining about my appearance, i'm trying to focus more on how to fix it. how to make it better. Grieving and complaining about your weakness doesn't solve anything, so i'm going to look at myself more positively. Take some time to exercise everyday, eat healthier, tidy my room, take care of my skin more, etc.
2. Be more independent
I'm going to live alone around starting next month, so i'm trying to be more independent in the future. Blatantly speaking, i'm that person who still depends on people especially parents. I think it's because i haven't experience living alone. Seriously, i even cannot cook properly (just ask my best friends or cousins). I have to force myself to change and be less dependent to people. Well, i'm getting older and i guess now it's time for me to be more responsible, at least for myself first. If i already can take care of myself properly, i can take care of other things well also. umm take care of my significance other too...maybe?
3. Gain confidence
Maybe if you never meet me or you're my superrr close friend, you would not think i have a low confidence. Actually i'm not sure why i feel awkward and less confidence if i'm talking (especially to new people unless we have a same interest). I'm a introvert person also, and it seems like introvert person more likely to express themselves through writing? not sure actually. but i'm trying to change that. Well, having a confidence is really important, especially if i'm getting into job interview etc etc. When i think about it more...its impossible to have confidence if i don't love myself. Without loving myself, i think reaching self-confidence won't be easy.
4. Making my parents proud
This is such a cliche resolution is it? but i think this is really important for me especially in next year. Its time to prove that i'm capable of taking care of myself and pursuing in degree with satisfying marks. In 2015, i'm going to focus more on my study and get rid of all distracting things. My parents have put high hopes on me and i wont let them down. They always say everything i do right now is not for them, but it's all for me in the end. If i put efforts on my study, i'm the one who will be happy in the end.
2014 has been such a roller coaster ride for me. From being ridiculously happy, until i broke down to tears like crazy. I learn so much about life, good things, bad things. I'm trying to be a better person ahead, and try to focus on my study more. love and respect myself. Everything that happens on this year will be memories, and memories is supposed to be keep in a safe place, but don't stick on them. I still have lots of thing to achieve, lots of things to learn, to explore, lots a thins waiting for me in 2015
and i hope those things will be wonderful.